A Date Worth Remembering

I can honestly say that I will be glad to see the back side of February. The weather has been mostly bleak and damp and when the sun has crept out from behind those stubborn clouds, I rush to our bedroom window to try and catch some rays on my face. I really believe that we need to have sunshine in our eyes and on our faces otherwise we, or at least I know I would, stay in bed and each carbohydrates until I was bursting.

The good news is that with the overcast skies comes the mild temperatures and the flowers are popping up like crazy right now. Our little flower beds are pickled with the beginnings of tulips and daffodils. And just last week, Rick cut our lawn and we had barbequed hamburgers for his birthday dinner on the 17th. Rick commented on how often his birthday parties as a child were spoiled because of a winter storm and there we were munching on burgers and fries. Still it was an odd birthday for Rick this year. He turned 58. It is hard to believe that such a youthful and vibrant guy is almost 60 and I can’t help but think how short our lives on this earth really are.

Okay, I won’t get too introspective now, but I look at Rick and I still see that spunky guy that met me in the Martini bar 11 years ago on a date I thought would go as all of my other dates before him had gone….badly. But to my surprise, he was not only funny, really funny, but he asked me questions no other man had asked me on a date before. I know what you naughty minded folks are thinking and no they weren’t about that. Anyhoo, he asked me what was my idea of a perfect date, how many pairs of shoes did I own, and what I thought of roller coasters. It was more like a job interview, to be honest, instead of a date. Despite his interrogation, we proceeded from the martini bar to dinner, even though we had only just originally agreed to drinks.

The restaurant happened to be void of any customers and Rick’s line after we ordered our meal of “you can’t imagine how much it cost me to empty this place for you” has been a source of debate over the years. I say it was coincidence and he claims it was arranged. Either way, it led us to his car, after we enjoyed a meal together in the quiet restaurant. We bolted there actually. No, we weren’t trying to nip out without paying our tab; a sudden storm meant we had to dash into his car before saying goodnight and thanks for a lovely evening and all that junk.

We sat listening to the rain hitting the roof and pouring down the windows and he kissed me. He placed one hand on the small of my back and drew me in for what will always be a magical moment for me. I was sure that lightening had hit his car and funnelled through our seats, spun up my spine and zapped my lips. In fact I said out loud, “What was that?” and he replied, “Electricity” confirming my suspicions, that I had been struck. Gosh, I know this all sounds so corny, but honestly when I recall our first date, our first meal, and then our first kiss, I still get the tingles.

Because ultimately my friends our lives spread out in front of us like a fan (another one of Rick’s lines) and it was that kiss that allows me to watch the flowers sprouting up and smell the fresh cut grass in February. And it was Rick turning 58 that made us reflect on how interesting our lives have been together so far and, more importantly, what on earth are we going to do with what the good Lord will continue to provide to us?

I have included some photos taken during our recent trip to Rochester which is known for its connection with Charles Dickens.

Sir, Sir but I don't understand Sir...

Today has to be the most beautiful sunny and mild day we have had in weeks. The sky is a brilliant blue, there are big white fluffy clouds in the sky and the grass is a thick green blanket in our back garden. I wonder how the folks at home are managing this winter and I hear that there has been a big storm in Peterborough and that there was a snow day this week. Funny but Channing put something on his Facebook page the other day about it being -25 and he said he had forgotten how cold it was back home. I wrote back that I was content in my forgetfulness.

The last time I wrote in my blog I asked you folks to let me know what you wanted to know about our lives here in the UK. Our friend Darcy (or Fooch as Ricky calls him – which makes me wonder how on earth he got a nickname like that. I recall a "McGootch" added to the end of Fooch but I am still no further ahead with resolving this puzzle) asked about Rick’s life at school. I thought that was a great suggestion and I would ask Rick to write a blurb but honestly folks he would not have time to do this. So let me begin by giving you some idea of how I see his life as a teacher here in the UK.

Rick’s days are long. He walks to school with this massive pack on his back. It is amazing that he doesn’t throw his back out with the weight of the bloody thing. He leaves our place at 7:50 am and it is only a 10 minute walk to the Leigh. I see this as a good thing because at least he is getting 20 minutes of exercise per day instead of driving to work and getting none. He generally gets home again between 6:00 pm and 7:00 pm as he stays at the school for detentions (and believe me there are no shortage of those), helping students with their course work, to attend staff meetings, call parents, that kind of thing. When he gets home the first thing he does is make himself a scotch and then another one. The number consumed is in direct correlation to the degree of grief he has had from the little darlings that day. After supper, he has to make more phone calls to parents to explain why their little Johnny won’t get his GCSE (don’t even try and get me to explain this for your Canadian people but I think it is like our credits in secondary school) because he uses his time in class to check out Utube videos or keeps talking in class. Then he has marking to do and he literally has a mountain of this. This is no exaggeration, my friends. Each of his classes has 60 students, yes 60, mind you they do team teach with 2 other teachers but I won’t get into that right now. And they do what is known as course work instead of occasional assignments at home and then the final exams. So course work means that there is constant marking for him. It is not unusual for him to be up early on a weekend marking and preparing lessons plans. Our weekends revolve around how much he has to complete for school and we do try and squeeze in some fun time so that he gets a bit of a break.

From my point of view, I think the most challenging thing for Rick would have to be the kids that are unmotivated, lazy, and really don’t see how lucky they are to have the access to good education like they do. In addition, the Leigh is an exceptionally well equipped school, state of the art modern building and when Channing was a student there he was blown away by how amazing the facilities really were. Brand new Mac computers, lovely bright open classrooms, extensive football/rugby pitches, and there are many dedicated and terrific teachers on staff. Funny, but there are a high number of Canadian teachers working at the school, so when Channing was there he was taught by mostly Canadian staff. Not that that should be an issue, I just found it ironic that we come to England for him to be taught by Canadians.

Now I get that there are lazy and unmotivated kids at home too, but what I see here that I don’t think is so rampant at home is the attitude that someone else will take care of me. I see it when people leave garbage on the sidewalks, on the platform, in the trains, on the buses, in the parks. The Brits seem to be of the mindset (and I am sorry to generalize as I do have some great British people in my life and they are not like this) that they don’t need to get an education and work because the government will look after them. And believe me, there is a lot of assistance here for unemployed people. Housing benefits, child care benefits, council tax benefits, and the list goes on. Gee, why would anyone want to put an effort in learning something as stupid and irrelevant as Science, or Math, or English, when they can leave school at 16 and have their flat paid for and get job seekers allowance? And the babies! Gosh, I don’t think I have ever seen so many woman (maybe I should say girls because most are teenagers to be honest) pregnant. There are no problems with declining enrolment here, folks. They are breeders and I am not just saying one or two and generally they are mixed races. Now please don’t misunderstand me I am not against interracial relationships or marriages, it is just kind of odd to see a young woman pushing a buggy down the street with one White child, one Black, and another Indian (don’t worry, it’s okay to say Indian here). There are big families living in tiny houses and I think it would do my head in if I had a life like that. Which makes me wonder if they leave their garbage on the floor and hope that gosh I don’t know who, hey maybe they could pick it up? Now that is silly talk now isn’t it?

Okay, so you are probably all wondering where the good bit in all of this is and I often struggle with how Rick does this every day. Firstly, as most of you who know him well will agree that he is a never surrender type of guy. But to be truthful, although the job is exceedingly more difficult than it is at home, he is challenged. He calls teaching at the Leigh “boot camp” and he truly believes that anything after this will be a breeze (or maybe we are just naive) and his next teaching assignment he will be a whiz with classroom management (mind you I think he is already) and having a class with less than 60 students at a time, will be a piece of cake. I also see that Rick genuinely wants to make a difference for these kids even if they can be difficult. He loves his subject and really wants the kids to feel the same way too. Why just last weekend we were shopping downtown and this young lad about 16 or so came up to us and said “Hey, Sir, I am revising for Biology” and he pulled out his text book from his pack. It was Saturday and the boy was studying Biology, I thought? He was one of Rick’s post 16 students and he was telling us that he had an interview at a university next week to gain entrance to become a teacher. Rick joked with him in his usual goofy way that I see makes the kids gravitate towards him and it actually made me really happy to see them talking like that. It was a special moment for me. My guess is that it was even more so for Rick.

So I guess with teaching here it is like casting out a massive net and most times you haul it back in and there's nothing. But sometimes you cast it and a couple fish get stuck. And the marvelous part is that when you finally catch them and reel them in you realize how grateful you are for not turning your boat around and sailing for home all the other times it came back empty.

Something to Look Forward to

It is January, isn't it? The birds are chirping here, flowers are popping up in our front flower boxes, and when we are out shopping in the market we go without hats, mitts and boots. I honestly don't miss the winters at home. I can't say that I exactly relish days of rain and overcast skies either, but it beats freezing my Canadian, well you know what off, hands down. It is so freeing not having to plaster on the layers before heading outdoors.

I’ve been out of work now since early December and I have been trying to keep myself as entertained as possible while Rick is at school. I have been posting writing challenges on Facebook to keep me motivated and on track. Not easy when I am not involved in classes, writing group, or have a deadline to meet. And yet so easy to avoid it, forget it, and put it aside to do something else. The FB challenges were my way of reaching out to my friends to get the nudge I often need to remind me why I should be writing and what a shame it would be if I didn’t bother. And that is why I have also decided to keep this blog going after all. And thanks to all of you who expressed your disappointment in my blog’s disappearance. I didn’t realize that it was so popular.

Along with my daily writing, I have been job hunting for another temporary or fix term contract position. Looking for work can be a very humbling experience. I have had to develop a thick skin when it comes to rejection of my CV, or following an interview. But each time one of the doors closes, I keep reminding myself of the one that will open. And that door will lead to another and I will be grateful that others have closed behind me. The process of looking for work has also helped me to define what I want in a job, even when it is short term, and what I deserve as a result of my skills and education.

Along with writing and job hunting, the house is so neat and tidy. Crazy the things you will take the time to clean when you are bored silly. But the good thing is along with a clean house; Rick is enjoying freshly made muffins in his lunch and a nice dinner when he comes home from school. But since I haven’t been making any money, I figured I better earn my keep.

It is amazing, however, how we have managed to live on just Rick’s income for the last few weeks. And now that Hoover boy is gone, we certainly don’t make as many visits to the grocery store. Boy, the kid ate a lot, which makes me suddenly think of him and how I miss the big lug. I’ve booked his flights for a visit for two weeks in March and I can hardly wait for him to wrap his arms around me and scoop me up off the floor, like he used to do when he was here last year. It makes me feel like a girl. I am so tiny next to him and it makes me think of the time when I would give him piggy back rides up to bed. What the heck happened?

Channing will be bringing a friend with him from Peterborough, and I am sure they will have a blast hanging out with his old pals from the Leigh Academy. We have already booked the ferry from Dover to France for a day trip so we can take them along the coast. And we can stock up on that cheap French wine, of course. And there will be trips to London, perhaps a castle or two, maybe Stonehenge, and goodness knows where else as there is simply so much to do, but I honestly don’t care because I will get to see my boy again. And we are also hoping to get Keaton and Molly over when they are finished their first year of College and Uni sometime in May. It is nice to have these things to look forward to.

And finally, we went to Morocco over the Christmas break and had an absolutely amazing holiday. The resort was spotless, the staff terrific, and the souks (markets) in Marrakech a once in a lifetime experience. Let’s just say that I didn’t know what was more bizarre, the monkeys on chains, the snake charmers, the motorcycles whizzing by and suddenly donkeys pulling carts, or the dentist that extracted teeth on the spot (without any drugs or hygiene precautions, of course)!

Shutting this baby down

Hello all,

I will be updating all of my friends via email and Facebook going forward. My gmail account allows me to include more photos with my stories. I have enjoyed running my blog but from a practical stand point, using Facebook and updating by email is a more efficient way to communicate with my friends and family.

So if you would like to be included in my mail outs or check out my daily happenings, send me your email or a friend request through Facebook.

I look forward to keeping in touch with all of you.

bevrobbinsteather@gmail.com

Hold the Bhaji, please!

Well, this past week was a weird one. Just after Rick recovered from the stomach flu, he managed to come down with a nasty cold and was quite ill for 3 days. He is still coughing and not 100% but at least he has his annoying sense of humour back, so that is a good sign (I guess). Although I managed to avoid catching the stomach bug, I am assuming through my attention to frequent hand washing, changing the towels, and being freakishly clean around the house, by Tuesday I had a funny tickle in my throat and an itchy nose of all things. At first I thought it was allergies but by 4:30 pm I was excusing myself from work and heading home on the train with a fever and an uneasiness in my gut.

Backing up to Tuesday morning, though, I got this really weird feeling when I came into work, apart from the throat and nose thing. I had this crazy thought that kept repeating as I rode the train and walked the couple of blocks that it takes to get to KPMG. No, it wasn’t hey why don’t you split this popsicle stand and run away with David Tennent seeing as he is now unemployed and probably desperate for a new companion. This was serious. I tried to dismiss my thinking as silly or crazy and how could I possibly think such things. But as I was getting organized at my desk, the office was unusually quiet, and people seemed anxious. Then they would scoot into a meeting room and return with very grim faces. What was happening? Was someone fired? Is someone ill? And of course, I couldn’t help shake the thoughts I had earlier that oddly enough were about someone taking their life.

So it wasn’t long after that that a gal I work with took me into a meeting room too and finally explained why things were not copacetic today. One of my co-workers, just a young guy with two toddlers, was found dead in his flat by another co-worker. It was Charlie, and Jo was broken up as she told me. Charlie was a soft spoken gentle kind of guy that loved to ride his motorcycle to work and was so excited about having me around to help with their recruiting efforts as I had worked for their competition for 9 months. He was very kind to me, which was comforting being new to the organization, and when he introduced me, he was very complimentary and quick to point out how skilled and experienced I was to others in the department. He even put me on the task of organizing the new grad recruiting effort for the 4 and 5th of October and said he would bet one month’s wages that all 200 new joiners could not possibly get into the building without a hitch on the Monday but if anyone could sort this mess out, Bev could. Thanks, Charlie!

Now I have to give you some background on my experiences with dreaming about something and it coming true. And I am sure you will think it is all a little wacky but I have predicted a pregnancy, an affair, an illness, for example, and even saved a litter of kittens from being mashed in Rick’s car engine, all from premonitions.
So as I sat at my desk and read the announcement that went out to the system after Jo so kindly broke the news to me before hand, I felt chilly. The premonition that I had was actually about the chap that found him but how could I even come to such a conclusion about either of them?

No funeral arrangements have been announced and the bigger the silence becomes the more I feel like I am narrowing it down to what I must have dreamt on Monday night.

And no I didn’t have curry for dinner.

How Many Limeys in a Margarita?

With the boy back home, Rick and I have comfortably slipped into an empty nester’s mode. We spend our weekends socializing with friends (and I have a new Irish friend that I affectionately call Barney), touring the English countryside and seaside villages, and discovering new places to shop. Our new favourite drink is a margarita and we love to sip on a couple of these on a Sunday afternoon and watch an episode or two of "The Inbetweeners". More on that show and the outcome of too many margarita's another time.

Rick still has loads of lesson plans and a ridiculous amount of marking to do, so I take care of the household duties, but I am surprised how natural this all feels for us given that our entire relationship so far has revolved around house, kids, work, house, kids, work. So now that we are kidless, we have been able to also think about getting involved in things that we personally enjoy and with that Rick has also joined a band with a group of teachers from the Leigh, playing the keyboard. They have a gig booked in November for an open mic session at a local pub. I am sure they will draw a good crowd from all of his teacher friends the day that they perform.

Last week, he had a violent case of the stomach flu and was off work, for the first time since I have known him. He was unable to keep anything down for two days his skin was grey, and at one point, I was concerned about him becoming dehydrated. True to Rick’s style, after day three when he managed to keep his breakfast cereal down, he announced that he was going to work. I thought he was nuts as I knew that the moment he walked through the school doors, he would be full on the entire day. He showered, shaved and drove to school instead of walking like he usually does, and managed to pull it off. He was pretty wiped at the end of the day, but his “never surrender” attitude served him well in this case. A couple of early nights to bed after that and by the weekend he was right as rain again. In fact, this has encouraged Rick to focus on losing some weight. He figured his recent purge was a good kick start to a diet.

I am getting into a groove with my new temp role at KPMG. The folks here are very kind and friendly and I feel quite at home in their offices. I already have a good routine running at lunch at least 3 times a week. They have excellent on-site shower and change rooms, and there is an abundance of places to run around Canary Wharf. I find that it is much more pleasant running here, compared to when I worked at EY. Not only is the air less congested with bus and car fumes, smokers puffing on the sidewalks, but more importantly, there is a distinct lack of distracted tourists as well. I can’t tell you the number of times I would be out for a run around London and Tower Bridges and a tourist would plow into me because they were not looking where they were going. It was not uncommon for me to have bruises on my arms from the collisions.

To supplement my running workout, along with my 30 minutes walks to and from the train station, I recently got a pay-as-you-go swimming membership at a leisure/community centre only three stops from my office on the DLR (Docklands Light Railway) and this week my plan is to try out the ladies lunch hour swim time. The membership was super cheap at 2 pounds 80 for the year and each time I swim depending on the time of day it costs up to 3 pounds 35. And the other good news is that their ladies’ sessions and all day Friday swimming are absolutely free. I was astounded that I was able to find such a terrific deal, given that it is in London. When I asked around the office about pool memberships, some were paying upwards of 90 pounds a month to go to the gym. That’s crazy, I thought. I can run for free and there is no way that I am going to blow my budget to go for a swim. So when I did some research on the internet and then scoped out the centre during my lunch hour, I was pretty chuffed. Hey, I am starting to talk like a limey. Wait, I am a limey!

I have filled two notebooks with stories I have written and experiences while commuting on the trains. What a bee hive of activity the trains can be and a gold mine for observing human behaviour. There are some pretty odd characters that ride public transportation, I have found. From applying makeup (and I am talking mascara, foundation, powder, eye shadow, lipstick, the works), to having a very personal phone conversation (telling their doctor that they don’t clean their ears), to snoring with a head tilted back and a mouth wide open (can I please drop something in there?), and even curling one’s hair (despite being crammed up against the window in a hub of four occupied seats), I am not sure what I find more fascinating. I don’t think, however, that any of what I have written is worth sharing at this point, but I feel as though, like staying true to my fitness routine, I am exercising my mind and honing my craft daily.

The photos are of my new winter hat. Gotta love that it isn't a toque. My new offices at Canary Wharf and my Irish friend, Collete, who is a Science teacher at Rick's school (Bob is an English teacher there too - he's in the photos between Colette and me). I named her Barney because her surname is McLarney and it made me think of the Blarney stone and for some reason I wanted to call her Colleen, so to cure this mixup and not to offend her heritage, the name Barney was born.

Also, if any of you are on Facebook, I do more regular updates and photos there. Send me a friend request and we can keep in touch that way too.

Second Time's the Charm

We returned home to Dartford on Wednesday afternoon after a fabulous 10 day tour of Scotland. As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, we found the country to be very similar to Canada, and looking at our video footage and photos makes us want to return again soon.

Camping proved to be a very economical way to travel and when it was all said and done we averaged 60 pounds per day for purchasing souvenirs, food, camping, and gas for the car. Not bad really when you figure that one night’s stay in a hotel could set you back at least that much.

After unloading all of our gear, airing out the tent (we had lots of rain and it was pretty damp when we packed it up last), and pulling something that smelt like really bad cheese out of our cooler (oh look it really is cheese), although I was tired, I realized that it felt good to be home. Hard to believe but it is exactly a year ago that Rick came over to find us a place to live. When we were downtown today getting our produce at the Thursday market, Rick said, “Hey a year ago this time I was wandering the streets of Dartford, looking for a place to stay, and wondering what the hell have I gotten myself into?”

I remember feeling so twisted around in those early weeks. It was as though we had been thrown into the deep end without life jackets. It truly was a sink or swim situation for us. And despite the confusion over how to bank here with all the bloody security measures, buy a ticket at the train station to the right terminal in London, or where to shop to get the best deals, an entire year has passed and we have managed just fine.

Now, Channing has returned safely back to Peterpatch and getting caught up with his pals, hanging with his dad’s side of the family, and hunting for a part-time job. He’ll be returning to TASSS in the fall for Grade 11. It was painful sending him off at the end of July, but I am so incredibly proud of his ability to come and go with such ease. I miss him immensely but this year without him will teach me to reach for things that interest me, like writing and fitness, and focus on Rick and our relationship to a depth that we couldn’t whilst we were raising the four kids in Douro. We have never just been a couple since we met in 2000 and this will be a new and exciting opportunity for us as well.

Rick returns to work next Tuesday and is looking forward to year 2 at the Leigh Academy. When he speaks about his plans for the upcoming school year, he is more at ease and confident. I can tell that the foundation he laid in his challenging first year will help him be even more successful and hopefully enable him to enjoy his job more fully too. Hey, life is too short to not enjoy what you do every day, right?

My contract at EY ended at the beginning of August and I had an awesome send off from the folks I worked with for 9 months. I did alright for myself considering that it was initially a 3 month assignment. They presented me with a lovely bouquet of flowers and a card signed by all of my co-workers wishing me well and thanking me for being the “Super Temp”. I am sure I will maintain the friendships I formed there as I was very fortunate to be working daily with some pretty terrific people.

The good news is that I have another temporary job lined up for September and I am particularly excited about this role. I will be working for KPMG at their brand new offices in Canary Wharf. I will be the Audit Support Staff Assistant Manager, which is a more HR generalist role, instead of entirely focused on recruitment, as I was at EY as a Recruiting Administrator. I will be covering for the tail end of a maternity leave as the incumbent was recently promoted. At this point, I could be there for just a month or two, depending on whether the gal returns as planned, but I am so pleased to be given this opportunity again with another one of the Big 4 international financial companies. I certainly feel that I earned my stripes at EY and as I have discovered, there is no shortage of temporary HR jobs in the nation’s capital when you are skilled, bright, eager, and motivated.

P.S. These are photos before Chan left, at the airport, and a little town just outside of Dartford, that Rick and I fell in love with called, Igtham. The town is so quaint and the pub there serves great antipasto. Oh yes, the beer is good too.